Flock by Kate Stewart
An annoying girl enters into a weird world of cars, bird imagery, secrets and being shared by two annoying men.
FLOCK - KATE STEWART
⭐️ ⭐️
Pros: the playlist that is referenced throughout the book is pretty good. I don't usually appreciate a playlist unless I made it, so this is a big deal.
Cons: cheesy story, ridiculous sex/language, ludicrous circumstances, annoying characters
Hannah is to blame for this one and if I had to go through it, you do too. This is technically the book that got me back on my reading schedule though, so…thanks? However, this was a hate read and I won't pretend otherwise. But Hannah knew that, she knew I would have big feelings and even bigger opinions about this book, which is why she recommended it to me in the first place. I am, after all, the one who painstakingly finished every single book of the god awful 50 Shades series and I haven't shut up about it since. I didn't choose this life, it chose me.
This book... took years off my life. Honestly, I read it in two days but my brain paid the price. The prologue did a great job of tricking me into thinking that I was about to enjoy this. However, almost as quickly as the chapters began, so did my realization that this was going to be a pure, unadulterated hate read. I don't actually mind a good hate read and this book delivers on that. It was a start to finish shit show and I loved/hated every second of it.
The story instantly parallels Twilight and that won't be the last comparison I make. Cecilia - freshly 18 and filled with angst - moves in with her estranged father after living with and basically parenting her own mother for most of her life. Big Twilight vibes. Next, she meets a guy with a raven tattoo on her first day of work and he introduces her to his close knit but outwardly rough family that loves cars...
And of course, the finishing touch would be the smut. The smut takes it out of Twilight and into 50 Shades territory but the smut is pretty bland in comparison which is sad because I thought 50 shades was bland and overall incorrect as far as BDSM goes but I digress! I am already tired. But since we are on the subject...
LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SMUT
This was one of the biggest pitfalls of the whole book. Not only were there unrealistic scenarios that could never logistically work, but the language Kate Stewart chose. I just- when my eyes passed over lines like
He rubs his fingers along my walls... He pounds his cock along my walls...
I wanted to simply pass away. What IS this?!? If I hadn't been reading this on my phone, I would've thrown the book across the room. I now fully understand the headspace Elvis must've been in when he shot his television that one time. I get it now, King, I'm sorry I judged you.
HERE COME THE SPOILERS
Let’s discuss the love interests, starting with Sean. Sean is more cliche of a leading man. Sensitive, says and does all the right things, has a Zippo light that they referenced 6 times (I counted). He's a cool cat so of course they get together first. He is also dumb, annoying and problematic at best. He gives her the pet name “pup” which made me dry heave.
Dominic (yes like Dom Toretto) is quiet with a hard exterior but a teddy bear interior. He reads a lot and keeps to himself. I like it. I like a man who knows when to shut up.
The waterfall date was fun but I would've been worried about bugs or fish or whatever other random creatures may have become unwillingly involved in my sexual encounter.
The pool threesome is one of the worst things... I've ever read. It actually was fine, but about half way through the exchange, I realized that I was supposed to believe these people - ALL 3 - were balancing on a pool float in a controlled body of water. ReAlLy?
Last summer, my husband, my best friend and I all got on a larger pool float in our pool in the backyard. (no we didn't have sex on it, calm down) Not only did we all fall off several times just attempting to get and stay on the thing, but we BROKE IT. This just doesn't- I just- IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. They would've been slipping and sliding all over the place, water up noses and getting feet stuck in random cup holders.
Up next in the not so distant future, Hannah will be reviewing the second installment of this trilogy, Exodus. She enjoyed these more than I did and was a lot less passionate about the moronic things that had me on edge so it will be nice for the next review to not be at an 11.
However... I get the final chapter, The Finish Line and I hope you're ready because my hatred and rage only tripled along the way.